It's So Hard to Leave

Susanne was up with Paxton at 3:00am, 6:00am, and 8:00am. This was difficult, especially since she didn't get to bed until after 1:00am because of his last feeding. He woke up crying each time and would settle shortly after Susanne comforted him. She hated seeing him upset. It appeared that he must have been refluxing because he didn't gag or sound congested. At one point, Susanne snuggled next to Paxton in her bed. This allowed for him to feel safe and know that she was close by. At the same time, she could rest her eyes some more.

Susanne couldn't go back to bed once he was up at 8:00am because the nurse was coming by today around 9:00am to watch Paxton. Susanne was hoping to run some much needed errands. Once the nurse arrived, Susanne watched her set up the next feeding and give Paxton his medications. She was still forgetting small steps. These small steps were important because any mistake in Paxton's world was a big deal. Susanne was having trouble leaving the house because she wanted to make sure that he was squared away and that the nurse didn't have any questions. It was surprising to her how difficult it was to walk out the front door. She tried to not let her worry and concern take over.

Susanne's car was still stuck in the ice and snow in the driveway. She spent some time trying to shovel the debris from under all four tires. She didn't get very far because it was pure ice that was strongly adhered to the asphalt. She attempted multiple times to back out, but her tires would just spin in place. Out of nowhere, a car pulled up. A gentleman got out to see if Susanne wanted him to shovel her driveway. She turned down the offer, but asked him to assess which tire was causing the problem. He helped her remove as much out from under each wheel as he possibly could. When that still didn't work, he recommended that he push the car backwards as Susanne reversed. This was successful. Thank you to the good samaritan, Susanne was on her way.

Susanne's first stop was to get gas. Her gas light had turned on as she rolled up to the house on Thursday. After filling up her tank, she then decided to go ahead and get her oil changed as well as her car inspected. Both places were hopping. She had to wait at least thirty minutes each time before she moved to the front of the line. It had to be done, it was just unpleasant waiting that long.

Once finished, Susanne moved on to the next place. She needed to stop by Babies-R-Us because she needed to purchase a few things like a new bottle brush and something that would keep Paxton's bottles cold as well as have the ability to warm them up when he was ready to eat. One of the main reasons she stopped here was to get Paxton some new clothes. He had managed to outgrow almost all of his current outfits. It was his accelerated increase in height that was causing the issue. Unfortunately, Susanne's hunt was unsuccessful. She had to be picky with her selections because of Paxton's G-tube. Most outfits were not G-tube friendly. She was hoping to have better luck somewhere else.

She was only able to make it to Petsmart and the grocery store before she had to head home. The nurse was available until 3:00pm. Susanne was running behind because everywhere she went was packed. She called the nurse to give her an update on her whereabouts. The nurse was very understanding and told her to take her time. She ended up making it back to the house within fifteen minutes of when she was supposed to be there.

Paxton did well while Susanne was gone. He had difficulty falling asleep for his nap, but he didn't cry once. He was very active and playful. He smiled and laughed a lot. The nurse read him a couple of books and played him a CD of silly songs. She switched up where and what he played with over the few hours that Susanne was gone. He enjoyed showing off and flirting.

Julie decided to stop by a little later to visit with Susanne. She was so kind to help Susanne finish shoveling out the driveway. She always took the initiative to make sure Susanne was well taken care of. She knew that Susanne was sore from shoveling a couple days before and she refused to let her do anymore.

Once she had made a major dent in the snow, they went inside to get warm. Julie got to peek in on Paxton as he slept contently. He never woke up throughout the whole visit. Susanne and Julie took this opportunity to catch up. It was so nice to just relax with a good friend. It was amazing how their stress level improved with just being able to lean on each other and use each other for support. It was helpful that there were so many parallels between their current situations because it made it that much easier to understand each other.

Susanne was shocked that Paxton continued to sleep well into the evening. He never woke up after being put down mid afternoon. She was hoping that he would catch up on some much needed sleep. She knew he had to be exhausted. She would just have to wait and see if he could make it all the way through the night without stirring. She would keep her fingers crossed.